Introspection, Externalized Grand River

No, I’m in my living room. I wanted to use my acoustic piano for a recent project, so I moved some other instruments here. It became a temporary studio for that period.

The guitar was the first instrument I learned to play, the piano came second. I was about 13 years old when I started to take piano lessons, but I have been singing in choirs since I was six. Having a visual approach to the piano is certainly interesting since the instrument actually is right in front of you, and this influences the way I compose. With a guitar, you get creative in other ways. I know that you play the guitar quite well because I remember hearing it on your album Selected Ambient [Hallow Ground, 2017], which I really liked.

I made the compositions for the album two and a half years before it was released. I did not have a strict deadline, so I worked on the tracks as long as was necessary for finishing them. Dedicating time to my music has always been a priority because it is difficult to give creativity a timeframe. I started to work on the album shortly after I released my first album Pineapple [Spazio Disponibile, 2018] and tried to balance it against my travelling. Even now, when I am not travelling, I try to find a balance in my practice by working on a new live show and composing. These are two completely different things, at least in terms of working methods, and I take the organization that goes into both seriously.

Sometimes I have a clear idea or concept beforehand. Other times, I just want to explore a synthesizer that I was thinking about, or try a particular method or module, or just play the piano or my cello. The tracks from my latest album are mostly created by starting with one instrument and expanding from there. It’s a bit like building a house from scratch. The foundation comes first, then the walls and the windows, followed by the furniture and all the little details.

I find it important to make a body of work that is part of a specific period in my life. Everything happening around me and influencing me emotionally for a certain period of time seeps into the music I make. I would not want to work on an emotion from the past; I want to capture something closer to where I am in the present. For the track names, I usually start to compose and then at some point, when I have to save my project, I make a decision. I might have been thinking about a reference or a concept before, but when the moment comes to save the composition, I try to make the call. If I make a composition and that piece is communicating a particular emotion, I want to keep that emotion remembered and stored. And having this initial process of naming a track helps.

When I feel stuck, I try to regain some distance from the project I’m working on. A friend of mine once did a sound healing session with me, and he told me that basically everything can be broken down into the concept of inhaling and exhaling. That resonated with me because we can apply this process to how we absorb and how we externalize things. There are moments in which I have to inhale; where I am not able to create output. I might be creative, but I can’t necessarily externalize it.

Sometimes, when I don’t feel creative or when I don’t like what I am doing, I try to get into something technical or do research. I would analyze a synthesizer and its functions in depth, read, watch tutorials, or listen to music of other artists. Sampling sounds also works well for me.

I’d say, it is an externalization of my introspection.

If I am listening to music, then I am listening to it without thinking about who is behind that composition. There are many different gender identities and everyone has their own sensibility. I don’t believe that emotion is correlated with gender, and the stereotyping of which gender makes which kind of music feels out of date to me.

What matters the most is believing in equality for all and fighting for that. I never tried to obscure or hide my gender or sexuality. I never really think about myself as a woman or as a queer person in the music industry, but I consider myself a musician and try to focus on that. I hope I can lead by example for younger musicians who aren’t so readily recognized to feel empowered and not feel held back by their identity. I never wanted to put myself in a position where I have to state the fact that I am a woman for someone to want to listen to my music. What is important to me is the audible content with which we will leave our mark. Holding back just because we are surrounded by male power is the opposite of what we should be doing. I also never had doubts about starting a label. I just wanted to do it, and then I did it. And things are slowly changing. There are more women and gender non-conforming people making music now than 20 years ago.

Noteworthy is, that in the beginning it wasn’t a label. It was and still is a platform for musical experimentation. One day, I was in the studio and I noticed that I was switching quickly between one instrument and another. Hopping to the next after not being satisfied with what I did before or immediately starting to add effects. I realized that this wasn’t fruitful and wanted to tackle it. I thought that I should try to be more selective with myself by applying some simple rules to my compositional practice. I chose the original Korg MS-20 from 1978 that I had in my studio and made a composition only with this instrument. Afterwards, I started to ask some friends if they wanted to do the same and that’s actually how it started. In the beginning, I was just uploading tracks on Soundcloud and that was it.

My offer still stands! What I like about the concept is that you don’t need an analog synthesizer, you could play a pen or a pot or whatever you’d like. After the initial stage, One Instrument slowly started to grow. I started receiving demos and people asked me where they could buy the tracks. At the time, they were not for sale. They were just for sharing. Eventually, I released a record, also to have it available on vinyl, and One Instrument took a different shape. But the initial idea of experimentation is still there. I still upload material on Soundcloud and Bandcamp. And some will make their way to a tape or a vinyl and some of the material just continues to exist digitally.

My initial reaction to Bandcamp’s print-on-demand concept was positive. But then I thought about the consequences. If I’d want to make use of it, then this means that the records will only be available on Bandcamp. They will not go through my distribution channels as they usually do. And my distributor makes sure that the records end up in shops. Maybe in the future there can be ways for finding a hybrid solution, doing a batch through Bandcamp and a batch through other channels. To me, it is important that the music that I release through the label is heard by as many people as possible. Especially with artists that are unknown. I am aware that One Instrument has quite a particular concept. It is kind of nerdy and niche. But it is gaining more interest and that’s great.

I learned so much regarding the production phase of a record and regarding instruments, because people send me demos of instruments that I never heard of or sometimes even self-built ones. I always try to dig deeper and understand what the message of the artist is. You start to have a dialogue about the compositions and slowly get to know each other through a shared practice. It also has to be said that running a label takes quite some time. I reply to everyone who writes to me, I listen to all the demos. When we talked earlier about what I am doing when I am not composing, this is also something I do. I dedicate my time to the label, which is very stimulating in a completely different way.

If you have an idea that you believe in and you feel strongly that you want to start a project, do it. In my opinion, a label makes sense if it has continuity and it’s easier to keep it going if you know what you want to achieve with it. Ask yourself what the purpose behind starting a label is and then give it all your best. Putting out music is something very special and you get to know people who are grateful for having the possibility to do so. It’s a great feeling to be in a position to put something meaningful out into the world. It can make a difference for people, so I always try to be respectful towards the music and the people involved.